I Had a Life…But My Job Ate It?

Yesterday while driving home, I noticed the following bumper sticker as I waited at a light:

“I Had a Life…But My Job Ate It.”

Hmmm — how fitting that I would be stopped behind this particular vehicle. As you can imagine, the message bothered me on a number of different levels. (For a moment, I was like a deer in headlights, requiring a reminder from the driver behind me that the light had changed.) One one hand, with all that is written about work-life balance, you would think we were beginning to get a handle on the issue.  On the other hand, it dawned on me that we may need more than a brief refresher concerning the potential contributors to the “out of balance” state. We blame our jobs for our unhappiness — but it’s not really that simple, is it?

A few to think about:

• We’re really having a time/task management issue. Life can be busy – often exceedingly so. As a result, we need to examine our use of time and the value we afford it. (If we don’t value our own time, no one else will.) Often when we complain of a lack of time, we actually are suffering from a task crisis. More specifically, we are not prioritizing or possibly eliminating, tasks that add little to our lives at work (or outside of the office for that matter.)
• We’re not striving for the right kind of “peace”. I’m not convinced that “balance” is the right goal.  (Somehow that brings to mind a precariously perched set of spinning plates). When you examine the roles of busy and productive people, we find that there are times that work-life balance isn’t really “balanced” at all. In fact, there are moments when a shift towards one direction or another (work or personal life) is required and healthy. Maybe we should shoot for a different goal, somewhat like the one discussed in this recent HBR posts entitled: Work-Life “Balance” Isn’t the Point.
• Organizations just aren’t listening. We cannot have a healthy sense of balance, if organization aren’t listening to our needs. Sure we’re all prepared to pitch in when we have an important or meaningful deadline. However, when every day brings drama and stress — this is an entirely different situation. If employees are expressing that processes and procedures need to change, for the well being of all involved, organization certainly need to take notice and make changes. Leaders take note.
• We’re not engaged (and we’re not talking about it). I’m not sure how you feel about this, but sometimes I enjoy being “out of balance”. When I am on deadline or working on an interesting topic, I love the power that comes with the feeling of being truly connected to my work. My litmus test? If  I am so “job involved”, that the time flies by. If your job doesn’t align with your strengths and provide a core sense of energy — you need to do something about it. Seek engagement in your work life at every turn. If not, I fear that every moment at work will seem like an intrusion on our “real lives”.

What else may be operating here? Share your thoughts.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is a Workplace Psychologist. She also writes for Linkedin and US News & World Report.

Strategy Break: Let’s Bring Back Lunch and Other Retro Workplace Traditions

The workplace has evolved at such a break neck pace that in some cases, we struggle to comply and keep up. So many things have changed. Social media has revolutionized the tenor of communication — and we have all jumped on the mobile carousel. But these 21st century developments, do not necessarily demand that we abandon every single example of the “old” ways of doing business. Sometimes, tried and true traditions, can still hold quite a bit of workplace punch.

In that vein, here are a few ways to boost your work day with “retro” flair.

• Do lunch (and not at your desk). I love social media, Skype and a great Google hangout — but there is nothing like having a conversation with a colleague or friend over a bite to eat, at your favorite lunch time hangout. Try this once a week and see what develops.
• Hold an “unplugged” meeting. You may not remember what meetings were like before the ever-present distraction of devices, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give it a whirl. At your next meeting turn all phones, computers and tablets off  — then place them in the center of the table for the duration of the meeting. I dare you. Really.
• Say “thank you”.  Showing gratitude — now there is a topic that never goes out of style. Has someone gone above and beyond as a contributor? Gone out of their way to make your work life easier? Send them a hand written note. (Yes these still exist.)
• Start early or stay late. I don’t know about you, but working when there is no one else around can be a liberating experience. No calls or interruptions — simply dedicated time to think deeply. Everything knocking around within your mind has a chance to ferment and just “be”.
  
• Celebrate a success. I don’t mean landing on the moon – I mean “We completed that Goliath of a proposal” or “We dealt with that important client or customer problem effectively”. Buy a cake – bring in coffee drinks. Any small gesture to mark the occasion.
• Engrave something. We may not stay at a single organization for 30 years – but many of us do achieve a healthy level of tenure. A gold watch might not be feasible, but marking the occasion of a 1, 5 or 10 year anniversary deserves more than a moment of recognition. If you are a freelancer, mark your relationships with organizations in the same manner.

Taking a cue from the past is not always the wrong way to run a business. What “retro” practices would you like to see make a comeback?

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is a Workplace Psychologist. She also writes for Linkedin and US News & World Report.

Strategy Break – Scott Dinsmore: How to Find and Do Work You Love – The TED Talks

About Your Career: My Advice to the Class of 2013

(This post was previously published in LinkedIn’s “Class of 2013: The Commencement  Speeches You Wish You Heard”.)

I’ve heard (and offered) my share of career advice over the years — and at this point in your lives, you are likely hearing more than your minimum daily requirement. I understand. Nearly everyone wants to offer a reflective opinion concerning how you should go forward, and leave your mark on the world. I realize that all of the chatter might feel a bit overwhelming — especially with all that is ahead of you — but rest assured, the advice is certainly well intentioned. However, one key point to remember as you leave this chapter behind, is to temper its application with the sound of your own voice. Listen openly to all the advice that is offered, as it it given with love and concern. However, be sure not to lose yourself within that conversation.

Much of the advice that I personally received about work and career, was really quite good. Some… well…not nearly as good (and memorable for very different reasons). I won’t offer the unabridged volume to you today — and I’ll keep the message brief. But, I would like to share some of the most memorable snippets with you. So, here is the best (and the worst of it) — offered to you, with an accompanying “hindsight is 20/20″ review.

“Find something you love to do. If you can eventually get someone to pay you for it, you’ve got it made.” I’ll have to say, this was the best of the lot. Looking back, I never would have have guessed that my dad (a family physician), had been privy to the “secret sauce” of work life happiness — but he did have the power of experience behind him. When he offered me this advice, employee engagement per se, was yet to be discussed. But his words resonated with me and I thought about his comment often. His words guided me at many a crossroad. My dad loved what he did everyday — and this was apparent. He worked long hours, took countless late night phone calls and never missed an opportunity to say hello to a patient outside of the office. When he passed away, I heard countless heartwarming stories from his patients explaining how he had touched their lives in a deep and meaningful way. It was amazing. I wish that kind of career for all of you — so search with great urgency for a role that you will love.

“Don’t stray from your core area of strength.” Wrong. Don’t sell yourself short. Learn as much as you possibly can, about as many core areas of an organization as possible — this will help you to transform into a seasoned contributor. As I entered the world of work, I’d spent years studying work behavior and the elements of organizations. But, what I desperately needed to see, first hand, was how all of the pieces coalesced in real time. When posed with a unique opportunity to write proposals for the broader organization, many let me know they thought it was misguided to leave my role in research. But, for some odd reason I didn’t listen. I’ve never regretted that choice, as I learned more about the business than I ever imagined. Building flexibility, while developing new strengths is always a good path. So even if those opportunities don’t present themselves, search for them. Create them. Ultimately, a career is a mufti-faceted quest, where unexpected twists and turns should be welcome – so don’t hesitate to travel “off-road” and explore once in a while.

“Leave your personal life at the door”. This was undoubtedly the worst (and the most perplexing) advice offered. When this was generously shared (from a very senior staffer, as a newly minted manager) I was absolutely speechless. All I could think of that moment was “How do I possibly accomplish that?”, and “How does anyone, for that matter?” As it turns out this advice wasn’t really a viable goal after all. We essentially bring “all that is us” to our work each day – for better or worse – as our lives outside of the office shape who we are as potential contributors. It would be nearly impossible to perform a dissection, and remove our home or personal life from our office life (or vice versa, for that matter). The irony of this, is how many of us now complete our work from our home offices. Funny how that turned out – as personal lives routinely intersect (and meld) with work life today. Going forward, encourage evolution in your work life, to make work, work for you.

In closing, I’d like to say that I envy the place where you find yourself today. I see a career as an exciting series of doors, leading to the chapters of your future. Open those doors with hope and respect — for yourself — and those that you will certainly meet along your journey.

Good luck to you – I wish you a happy and fulfilling career.

(What is the best or the worst, advice that you’ve received? I’d love to hear it.)

Interviewing with New Purpose: The 5 Interview Questions I’d Like to Ask

We have an engagement crisis in today’s world of work. According to recent research, the majority of our employees do not feel a real connection with their work. I find this both alarming and incredibly disheartening. However, the question remains: How might we rectify this epidemic? I do feel that we have the tools (tests, assessments, etc.) and knowledge base to move forward — but our mindset has yet to catch up with the pressing need. The proof is there — we just need to “breathe deeply” and process the information.

We must provide more opportunities for honest conversation. More sharing — more trust — more exploration into what really connects an employee with their work. We need to lay it all out openly and discuss what really matters. No gimmicks. No excuses. We simply need to examine what makes us tick and embrace whatever that might be.

This type of “career transparency” can begin with the interviewing process. To impact this staggering lack of engagement, we need to interview with new-found purpose. This means using the interview platform as an opportunity to discover information that might directly impact future levels of engagement. In particular, we might probe areas that have been linked with higher levels of engagement: Feeling valued, appropriate feedback and support, and how to sustain directed, energized effort.

Here are the questions that I’d like to ask:

1. What elements of your work energize you?
2. What kind of performance feedback (specificity, frequency) is most useful to you?
3. What type of supervision helps you to become maximally effective?
4. How does the role we are discussing align with your strengths?
5. If you could implement one innovation (or idea) within our industry, what would that be?

What questions might you ask? Share them.

Special thanks to one of my readers Dave Erikson ( The 10 Career Questions I’d like to Ask Just About Everyone), whose comment motivated me to write this post.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is a Workplace Psychologist. She also writes for Linkedin and US News & World Report.

Friday Catalyst: Martin Seligman – The New Era of Positive Psychology

Are You Listening?

Have you ever heard someone described as a really great listener? Being defined in this manner implies all sorts of positive attributes; Fairness. Maturity. Open to opinion.

There are so many reasons to emphasize the power of listening in the workplace. From developing future leaders to teaming skills – the art of listening is a much needed skill set. Many leadership experts feel you simply cannot excel in business today without this skill, and I agree fully. Listening can not only make you more likeable – it can change the face of your career.

Tom Peters, author of In Search of Excellence, aptly calls this skill set “strategic listening”. No matter what your role or organizational purpose he is adamant that listening is critical. Listening is about respect. It is about making a commitment to others. It is about commitment to progress and change.

What you might gain from tweaking your listening skills:

• You’ll grow as a contributor. Learning to put your own thoughts aside for just a moment, will help you process new ideas. Overall, you’ll be in a better position to absorb more of the knowledge that is around you.
• You’ll be better positioned to handle problems. When challenge occurs – effective listening skills can help you to understand dissenting opinions and varying points of view. As a result, you’ll have a far greater chance of finding needed solutions.
• You’ll discover hidden potential. In many situations, your most effective team members may not be the most highly vocal. Hang back and let them know you value their opinions – they’ll be more likely to come forward and contribute.

We can all improve our listening skills. For now, hold back and let others complete their thought. Then reflect on what you have learned. It’s a great place to start.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist. She also writes for Talent Zoo and Linkedin.